I was a bit squished out of shape in Tokyo. But I couldnโt put my finger exactly on why I was so anxious and feeling seriously flighty. Japan (through my eyes) has a strong sense of conformity and regiment. Alongside my love for order and method, I crave interaction and playfulness- but am a walking, talking contradiction and combination of juxtapositions- just like my current surroundings. I suppose I am finding things about my identity reflected more so here than at home and this includes the good bad and in-between.
Big city life is about fitting in, becoming part of a chain, going with the flow and being part of an ever moving, heaving layering. The well oiled machine doesnโt work so well if one kog pops a spot, or wants to be bigger, more slippery or fit in the opposite way. Japanโs structure and rules seem to condense in feeling with the parallel in architecture; Tokyo is very different to Hokkaido.
I love being switched on, plugged in and stimulated. A trait you might think would suit an environment like Tokyo- but it's counterpoint is I take everything a little too personally, invert situations and am not particularly slick at the opposite: turning off. Tokyo has an interesting balance of tuning out. People's schedules make sense here when you see how the power naps, rest times and abilities to 'clock out' in crowded situations are facilitated.
Here, you are not secular- you are the group. It's not personal, it's just business time. This sounds really clean cut and logical, but when your travelling by yourself, with lots of balls in the air, without a consistent companion to bat some humour and steam off, subtle changes can get big effects.